First Christmas!

It's our first Christmas together as a married couple! I love the sound of that :)

Well, today is Christmas Eve and since we have so much family to go see today and tomorrow we decided to have our gift giving this morning.
It was so cute, perfect, and incredible. Even though it didn't last long and it was simple, I was happy because it was OUR christmas together! The little moments, looks, and surprises are what I cherish the most.
I am not going to have a play-by-play of what happened this morning but I will share my favorite moment....I was opening my gifts and the last one had a note with it. It was simple and something that Jonathan just put together at the last minute (hehehe) but I liked it. It read
"Remember that I love you. Love you!"
It made me smile :) So I proceeded to open the box....
It was a beautiful gorgeous silver necklace that had a small teardrop pendant that said "LOVE".
While I was opening it he said to me, "everytime you wear this always remember that I love you!"

It was a beautiful, Perfect moment.

More to come tonight, tomorrow and Sunday. Let the Christmas rejoicing, celebrating, and gift giving begin!

I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas and all rejoice the birth of our King because that is the real reason for celebrating Christmas!!

coffee....

Oh yes, I got him into drinking coffee.....I am AWESOME! hehehehe :)
Tate Street Coffee. Our favorite place. Many memories were made there. Now I want coffee.....

Grace Revealed....these days everyone is in need of knowing this

"Cheap grace is not the kind of forgiveness of sin which frees us from the toils of sin. Cheap grace is the grace we bestow on ourselves.
Cheap grace is the preaching of forgiveness without requiring repentance, baptism without church discipline, Communion without confession, absolution without personal confession.

Cheap grace is
grace without discipleship,
grace without the cross,
grace without Jesus Christ, living and incarnate.

Costly grace is the treasure hidden in the field; for the sake of it a man will gladly go and sell all that he has. It is the pearl of great price to buy which the merchant will sell all his goods. It is the kingly rule of Christ, for whose sake a man will pluck out the eye which causes him to stumble, it is the call of Jesus Christ at which the disciple leaves his nets and follows him.
Costly grace is the gospel which must be sought again and again, the gift which must be asked for, the door at which a man must knock.

Such grace is costly because it calls us to follow, and it is grace because it calls us to follow Jesus Christ.

It is costly because it costs a man his life, and it is grace because it gives a man the only true life.

It is costly because it condemns sin, and grace because it justifies the sinner. Above all, it is costly because it cost God the life of his Son: "ye were bought at a price," and what has cost God much cannot be cheap for us. Above all, it is grace because God did not reckon his Son too dear a price to pay for our life, but delivered him up for us."

Snowing!

OH WOW! It is SNOWING!!!!

I can't believe it, the weather forecast did not call for this at all today. It is beautiful and breathtaking....watching the snow fall is sweet, relaxing, and goes great with a cup of hot coffee in my large comfy chair :)
I love this time of year....when we get snow it always lifts my spirits and makes the whole day brighter.
Plus, this is our first snow together as a married couple! Our first snow together in our apartment.I didn't know it was even snowing until my husband (about to leave for the gym) yelled at me from the front door telling me to get over there. I lit up! We just stood there staring at the snow fall for a few minutes, hugging each other because it was cold. Then we went outside and breathed in the beauty of the snow and the crispness of the winter air. It was picture perfect romantic....what I always imagined! Oh I am such a girl sometimes! hahaha

I guess I will get back to my cup of coffee and writing my paper.......

Thanksgiving 2010

So.....Thanksgiving break is over now and it is now the end of the first day back to reality. UGH. More grading I need to finish so that I can acually do MY school work and study for finals......
Though my mind is elsewhere right now. I just had to take a break from grading report after report.

I was thinking about Thanksgiving break....it was wonderful to relax with my husband! and bake some of my awesome cookies (and cheesecake for my aunt!).....baking is always relaxing for me. I have gotten good at it really. I have thought about selling my cookies but the first place that I went to said they couldn't due to me cooking out of my residential kitchen. Too bad but all is well anyways....maybe now I can just charge my family for cookies! Ha! that will never happen.....

A lot of people talk about what they are thankful for.....this time I will actually do it. It is a first for me.
I am thankful for: the Lord blessing me with a wonderful husband whom I love more with each passing day
                          having my family close by so that I am able to see them,
                          my wonderful true friends because no matter what I know that they will always be there for me....even when we don't get to talk very often
                          being able to study chemistry further and possibly make a difference in the medical field
                          most importantly I am thankful for my Christ saving me by grace through faith because I know without a doubt that I would not be the woman I am today without Him. It is beautiful and amazing. I am thankful everyday for the many undeserving blessings He has given me :)       
                      

Just married graduate student

I'M MARRIED NOW! :)
This is what matters and is the headline of my life across the university, my family, and my closest friends.
As I was reading my last blog post and remembering when I wrote it, I didn't think the wedding day would ever come. There has been SO much stress from the endless wedding planning as well as the adjustment to graduate school and everything it entails. It was overwhelming.
Though the day did come with the help of all my family and friends, and it was PERFECT.....everything I imagined it to be but so much more beautiful.
I am the happiest woman in the world!
God has truly blessed me with a wonderful Godly man who is by my side through everything....the good and the bad. A Godly man that I trust and love with all of my heart and knowing that he loves and cherishes me even more than any words could express. We have entered into a covenant with the Lord and each other for life....our marriage is God centered, God glorified and a testimony of the 1 Corinthians love.
I love experiencing every moment of everyday with my husband. But I also know there are only better, more glorious, days ahead filled with adventure, tough time, love, and surprises that we will experience together with the Lord as our guide.
I wake up everyday excited, thankful, and more in love with my husband!
It's a beautiful and amazing feeling :)


Here are some of my favorite pictures from the wedding. Thank you to my photographer and friend, Dina Spencer!

My father walking his baby girl down the aisle....

Everyone who views this picture says it looks like it came out of a catalog! I agree. It's a great shot:)

This picture says so much....
most importantly the incredible happiness all over Jonathan's face. I love that Dina caught this moment! Thank you!

He makes me the happiest woman! I love his smile :)

Movies are not reality.....why do people struggle with this?!

Love is not like it is portrayed in the movies. it is not all honky-dory, picture perfect and happy-go-lucky every single moment. It is rather real, raw, with all of the flaws of its own because both people in the relationship are only human. We are sinners. We are not perfect. Everyone has a different mechanism in which the brain does not think but goes into action whether that may be during arguments, hard situations, or even during the good moments.It is in the moments following that one must not rely on themselves but on God to make the recall, the consequences of the result of the mechanisms actions better. Bring about the peace that was lost during those few quick moments.
This is of greatest importance to me because I see often how some relationships are good at dealing with these moments.....in letting God do the healing, the providing, and the changing in the hearts of the couple so that He may be the leader in the relationship. Others lie in the opposite extreme in which God isn't the leader and chaos is quite often....its hard to deal with thus ultimate peace and love is slowly broken down into many pieces. The ultimate love is lost into a world of confusion, doubt, and darkness.
As an example, I am able with the utmost confidence to say that I am in one of those relationships that lies in the first group I mentioned earlier. I love every moment of it. It may be hard at some points but my heart lies in the confidence that this is what God had planned for me since the day that I was born. No matter what happens I know that God is the leader within my relationship with my fiance and God brings my ultimate fulfillment. It brings my heart the greatest joy in realizing that He finally brought this amazing relationship into my life when I was prepared to handle it with HIS guidance. It fulfills the 1 Corinthians 13 love with the best of the ability any human relationship can....

"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends"

- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

I can't wait until I get married to the love of my life! I can't wait until I can experience every moment with my husband with the joy, confidence and pleasure that we can handle anything that life may bring us because our great Lord is the leader of our relationship.

"Oh, I want you with me every move I make
I want you to see all that I see
Through the laughter and the madness
And every moment in between
Oh, I want you with me"

Colossians 2:8-10

As I was reading through Colossians 1 and 2, I stopped and dwelled on two verses because it hit home to me. I could sense the Lord tugging at my heart, giving me a gentle reminder that I needed this morning. 
Let me tell you about it but first read these two verses:


"See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ. For in him the whole fullness of deity dwells bodily, and you have been filled in him, who is the head of all rule and authority." - Colossians 2:8-10


Bringing all the worries to the Lord brings about peace. A peace that transcends all understanding, a peace that is larger than any fear, worry, or burden. A peace knowing that the Lord has his hand in all situations and He will never let me go, never let me down. This peace is one in which I look for, I pray for everyday, especially on the days where I feel the world is breaking me down piece by piece. It is the only thing that brings me ultimate fulfillment and the strength to keep going.....
Though no one is perfect, including myself, and there are some days where it seems like this peace is no where to be found. It is a struggle to keep my focus thus I am thankful for my God who has placed incredible people in my life for me to talk to. My fiancé told me today that "it is okay to bring your troubles and worries to the Lord because He knows you are trying to deal with the things going on with your epilepsy and sometimes it is hard. There will be times where you can't handle it all and depend only on your strength just keep looking at His blessings in your life. Look at where He has guided you despite your epilepsy because this burden is only for a short time".....That was one thing I desperately needed to hear because there are days where I feel I am disappointing the Lord because I let the worry over take me. But that is not true in this case. I just need that gentle reminder of His work in my life, that it is in the process but I don't always see it until the end when the blessings overflow. Through the process I have to remind myself that He won't dish out more than I can handle.....He understands everything I am going through and He is a constant listening hear. There is nothing wrong for expressing those feelings.....


"....The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4:5-7

learning to let go. completely.

Learning to let go. 
It's a simple concept but ultimately a difficult one for many people to learn.
Sometimes it is letting go of something simple such as a bad habit, a childhood teddy bear/blanket as a security item, . Other times it is harder like in willing to let go of a friend that is no longer a good influence in your life, a relationship that was painful or one that you didn't want to end because it was good, even a fear/insecurity that takes over you and tears you down emotionally.
It's those times where it is the hardest. No matter what you try to do, no matter how you convince yourself to think and try to put it away, it all comes flooding back at some time or another. It's an endless cycle that leads to nothing good but rather it produces something bad....something that not only affects you but others around you in the present and future. Allowing the cycle to continue and giving up because nothing is changing is not the answer. Change won't come about until you learn to let it ALL go.
Learning to let go is when one obtains peace, joy, calmness and strength.....its the only way to stop the cycle in it's path....never to start up again.
I am writing this because it as been a issue that comes up often and I felt the Lord tugging at my heart to share my thoughts.....Letting go is the one concept that the Lord has given me the strength to do, even when it seems like I can't because it is too painful. It is in that moment I feel the sense of peace overwhelm me, like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I know in that moment I don't want to go back to the place I was before.
 I desperately want everyone who is struggling with letting go to experience that same peace. The peace that can only be found in Christ; the peace that can only be found in total surrender, total submission to the Lord.
When I see others who struggle with letting go of something that is tearing them apart it breaks my heart because I understand every moment, every struggle they are experiencing.
Learning to let go is not an easy concept to learn and apply but it is the only answer to obtain peace. A peace that surmounts all things. A peace that can only be found in Christ alone, a total submission and surrender to Christ alone. Trusting that he will transform you into a NEW creation. Dwelling on the past will get you no where....if anything it only leads to destruction and pain.
Dwelling on life's blessings and all that God can do, has done, and will do is the answer. It is in that moment where one learns to let go. completely.

I'm in awe

"Lost are saved, find their way
At the sound of Your great name
All condemned feel no shame
At the sound of Your great name
Every fear has no place
At the sound of Your great name
The enemy, he has to leave
At the sound of Your great name

Jesus, worthy is the Lamb

that was slain for us

The Son of God and man

You are high and lifted up

And all the world will praise

Your great name

All the weak find their strength
At the sound of Your great name
Hungry souls receive grace
At the sound of Your great name
The fatherless find their place
At the sound of Your great name
The sick are healed, the dead are raised
At the sound of Your great name

Redeemer, My Healer, Lord Almighty
Sustainer, Defender, You are my king"

FRUSTRATION doesn't even to begin to explain

I'm tired. simply put. nothing more to elaborate on than I'm tired.
It seems like I'm tired of school and doing all this endless work that keeps piling on at the end of the semester. I'm tired of waiting on the graduate school to make a decision on my future.
But mostly I'm tired of having so many seizures especially when I am trying everything in my power to help control them.
I'm frustrated with myself and with the medications that claim to work to control my seizures.
I'm frustrated that it puts my life on hold for two or more days especially when I have responsibilities.
I just want it to get better and stop taking a tole on my life and the others important to me.

I just keep praying that the Lord is continually working in me through this time in my life.....that in the end, it will be good and these feelings will go away. I pray every night that the Lord will take away my frustration and give me the peace I need when it comes to my epilepsy. He has given me peace in other areas of my life but it seems like everytime I find some peace, there comes another area where I have no peace....
It's an endless cycle of testing my faith. Even through all the frustration, lack of peace, and tiredness I am thankful for this time of testing my faith.....
To get me through the days where it seems that the frustration is strong and I can't seem to find peace I think about Psalms 46:10
" Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations. I will be exalted in the earth."

waiting

“For I the Lord do not change..." (Malachi 3:6)
My life is just the opposite of this verse: it seems to be changing as each new day comes and goes, especially recently. 
When I read this, it was like a ray of light peering through the darkness reminding me that God doesn't change....
His plan always comes about but He is patient in a Godly way....it's a part of God's covenant love for me. 
For some reason though I only see a dim light. 


I want it to be brighter than the sun. 
I've surrendered all my fears and worries to the Lord. 
I've been praying for peace to calm my restless heart and mind. 
But I'm still waiting....
waiting everyday....
waiting anxiously....
waiting for direction. 
I'm still waiting for God's peace to overwhelm me and take away all this worry. 
I'm waiting for that ray of light to shine brighter than the sun in the midst of this confusing darkness. 


I'm patiently waiting on the Lord. 

Magnificent Beauty

I don't know what it is about the morning but has always been my favorite time of the whole day. I absolutely love it. Especially those cool, soft, quiet mornings where everything is silent except the sounds of the rustling trees blowing in the wind.
The sky is light blue with a slight tint of purple reflective in the clouds.....looking beyond into the horizon one can start to see the reds, oranges and yellows of the morning sun rising in the sky. The moon and the sun are together in the sky and only a little bit of light illuminates the sky so that one can see.
It's beyond magnificent. Amazing. Impressive beauty. Simply glorious.

I wish time could stand still at that moment.

It is in this time where I feel closest to God. In a way of trying and wanting to understand His magnificent power in creating this beauty that we call Earth. Although being a science-oriented person and learning all the different ways to prove or disprove something, my mind always returns to one key question.
How can people learn everything about science, all the magnificent wonders that we are still studying because we can't explain them, and still say there is no God?
When I think about that, my heart breaks....
But it does not only refer to the ones who completely deny God, it also refers to the believers who sometimes forget to exeperience God's beauty. It seems like everyday is monotonous, too busy or some excuse is given and we don't stop to simply breathe. We don't stop to take in the world around us but rather overlook it and pass it off as nothing important. God's creation reveals his power and beauty to us.  It's a simple yet complex thing that is easy for any person to understand and accept.
As John Piper says, "God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him." .....reflecting upon the beauty that surrounds me everyday, especially in the morning, satisfies me. My heart is glad and it is my time to give God all the glory and praise.

When is your time of the day in which you stand in awe of God's beauty and give Him all the glory and praise?

I'm coming back to the heart of worship

This morning I felt the Lord tugging at my heart when I heard Will mention this quote. It was in the context of the Malachi study he has been talking about, focusing on responding to God's covenant love in our lives....I really felt I needed to share this because it can be a sweet reminder for everyone.

"I am far more sinful than I ever dared to believe but I am far more accepted than I ever hoped for."

To me this quote symbolized a new beginning for me this year.....to start fresh and regain my daily walk with the Lord. Ever more now as my last semester of college starts and new opportunites/situations come my way I need the Lord's peace and strength to envelope me. I want and I need the constant reassurance that no matter what happens it is in God's plan for my life; no worries, just resting in peace and the joy of living every moment as a blessing from God.
This quote specifically hit home for me in that I want to set a time in my schedule for the Lord.....just as I have a time in my schedule for classes, studying and working out. Just because I am busy doesn't mean I am too busy to spend time with the only constant greatness of God. God isn't too busy for me, why do I say I am too busy for him?
Well, that is going to change.

With the words of my heart crying out,

I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You

All about You, Jesus

I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it

When it's all about You

It's all about You Jesus