Winter Wonderland

IT SNOWED!!!! 
This is purely shocking to North Carolina because the news calls for it but it never actually happens. People go crazy flocking to the stores, pharmacies, and local school systems cancel school before any precipitation occurs.
This time though it came and it was fabulous! I absolutely LOVE snow and the kid within me comes out to play. I really love to venture out and drive around town looking at the white blanket covering everything. Last night was great because I got to do that. 
It was peaceful. Amazing. Beautiful. A winter wonderland. I wanted to get out and stand in the snow, breathe and soak up the beauty within the moment. Moonlight reflecting upon the snow made the ground sparkle with such elegance. It seemed as if time stood still. 
In the morning, the sun makes the snow glow to another extreme. Instead of seeming peaceful, it rather brings out the glory, the depth, and the brightness of the white snow. Sweet joy is found in that moment and no words can ever describe that feeling. One only wants time to stand still. 
What else can you do but take a picture? Here are a few that I took from my house......

it's real. Now step up to the plate.

"A thankful heart is one of the primary identifying characteristics of a believer. It stands in stark contrast to pride, selfishness, and worry. And it helps fortify the believer’s trust in the Lord and reliance of His provision, even in the toughest times. No matter how choppy the seas become, a believer’s heart is buoyed by constant praise and gratefulness to the Lord." - John Mac Arthur

"It is better to be in the will of God and suffer than to be out of God’s will and be prosperous"

Wow, there are no words to describe how I felt when I read these two quotes this morning. Maybe I can muster up some to voice what my mind and heart are feeling right now because I wanted to share.

I knew the Lord was gently talking to me through those quotes. His still small voice was whispering to my heart....It's those moments that I love.

it made me smile....

Yesterday had its difficult moments but through it all I am grateful to the Lord. For one, He showed me that He does answer my prayers, He hears every tear I cry, He knows that my heart desires everything He has planned for me. Another, I am thankful that the Lord put my boyfriend there to talk with me. He gave me the godly, scriptural advice that I desperately needed to hear.The second quote in particular is a taste of the advice he gave me and I ended up reading it again this morning.

So amazing, I am lost for words.

Looking further, I realized my heart is at the point in which John MacArthur talks about in his quote. No matter how choppy the seas become, a believer’s heart is buoyed by constant praise and gratefulness to the Lord.

After that, the Lord brought me to step back and look upon what has been happening lately in order that I may see His mighty work at hand. For once in my life, God has placed a man in my path that I have been praying for since middle school. I feel like God is saying:

"he is everything you have culminated from the others I placed in your life....the characteristics that you have prayed about and have been searching for are ever present in him. That man is real, not just a figment of your imagination or your dreams. I have told you this all along, it just took time. The love I want for you Daughter, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres, never fails. Because this love is of the spirit and not of the flesh, its natural fruit is joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. I cannot give this love to you in or even through another except dimly, and then only in a limited capacity- for all will fail and eventually disappoint you. This perfect love, Daughter, can only be found in me.

Don't let fear rule your decisions, let my love and my peace rule what you do. Continually seek me first and everything else will fall into place as I have planned it to. I have presented this blessing, now it's your turn to step up to the plate....."

My response to that is I am stepping up. Lead me, guide me and I will follow with no turning back.

"I got you"

So for some reason I can't seem to focus today no matter how hard I try. It sucks.

I have a boat load of stuff I need to do but my thoughts are located off in the far distance, totally far away from physics.....I'm going to go and try to find them.

I found them.....One thing I am thankful for today are the friends and my boyfriend who listen when I am venting about graduate school. I hate to vent to people because it is annoying but they listen and try to calm me down. It's those small acts of kindness that speak louder to me than any big gesture would. I thank God everyday for those people....that is the fellowship that I know is the type that God wants me to be surrounded by. Its those relationships that I am willing to work for in order to keep them ever present in my life...

On the other hand, I can't help but smile and praise God even more because of his continual blessing of placing new people like that in my life. He does that when the others can't be there....its His answer to my prayers; the joy to counteract the cries of my heart. Oh, how I am in continual awe of his glorious workmanship in my life. It's an amazing mystery that is unfolding before my eyes everyday. Draws me to crave the knowledge of knowing Him more and more everyday and I gladly feed that craving.

I came across a new song the other day by Leona Lewis. As I was listening to it, I was reminded of all my friends who have been there for me. A smile came across my face....

A side note: check her album out if you appreciate amazing vocal talent. Her voice is amazing. The power she puts into every note sends chills down your spine. Purely breathtaking in every sense....

"A place to crash

I got you

No need to ask

I got you

Just get on the phone

I got you

Come and pick you up if I have to

What's weird about it

Is we're right at the end

And mad about it

Just figured it out in my head

I'm proud to say

I got you"

finals.....graduate school applications....

Oh I just had to write down what I have thinking about this past weekend because I think way too much. As my friend Lauren told me, "its the curse of having a highly active, analytical mind."

Graduate schools is coming into my mind again because I noticed that the deadline for UNC is in a week! I'm rushing to get my letters of recommendations and my personal statement written before then. On top of studying for my finals and finishing the last few lab reports.

But in reality, I'm scared.

I'm scared because I have no idea where God wants me to be. I have been praying about it for a very long time....ever since last spring semester. He has shown me a little bit and pointed me in a general direction because I have a passion to further my education. The top two important questions are: Where to go? and will I even get in? there are so many choices.....so many different pathways.....what is the best for me? What kind of job am I going to get if I don't get into a big name school for chemistry? Will I ever have high confidence in myself to succeed in graduate school? Will I get the respect in the future endeavors that I work so hard for ? Should I take time off and get work experience before going back?

I hate these questions. I hate them because they cause me to worry about something that isn't in my control. All the thinking keeps me from acting; from even starting the process in simply applying. Ultimately it causes me to look to what others think of me, or where I get my education and the grades I receive. When I look beyond those questions, I see that I am putting up idols again. Placing importance on other things to define my success or identity before God. That is wrong, unsatisfying to me, and will take me down a path I don't want to return to. Who I am is found in Christ alone. He gave me a passion for chemistry for a purpose and I have to constantly remind myself that His plan for my life will unfold in His time. Not in my time. I pray everyday for His peace to overwhelm me.....to quiet my highly active, analytical mind.

As my dad told my brother and the other day told me: "you have to shut off your brain, tell it to be quiet and rest in the fact that God has it all under control." Even if I don't know where God is telling me to go, I have to initiate the process. Then when the time comes he will open up doors and close windows......"