So.....Thanksgiving break is over now and it is now the end of the first day back to reality. UGH. More grading I need to finish so that I can acually do MY school work and study for finals......
Though my mind is elsewhere right now. I just had to take a break from grading report after report.
I was thinking about Thanksgiving break....it was wonderful to relax with my husband! and bake some of my awesome cookies (and cheesecake for my aunt!).....baking is always relaxing for me. I have gotten good at it really. I have thought about selling my cookies but the first place that I went to said they couldn't due to me cooking out of my residential kitchen. Too bad but all is well anyways....maybe now I can just charge my family for cookies! Ha! that will never happen.....
A lot of people talk about what they are thankful for.....this time I will actually do it. It is a first for me.
I am thankful for: the Lord blessing me with a wonderful husband whom I love more with each passing day
having my family close by so that I am able to see them,
my wonderful true friends because no matter what I know that they will always be there for me....even when we don't get to talk very often
being able to study chemistry further and possibly make a difference in the medical field
most importantly I am thankful for my Christ saving me by grace through faith because I know without a doubt that I would not be the woman I am today without Him. It is beautiful and amazing. I am thankful everyday for the many undeserving blessings He has given me :)
Nov 29, 2010
Nov 8, 2010
Just married graduate student
I'M MARRIED NOW! :)
This is what matters and is the headline of my life across the university, my family, and my closest friends.
As I was reading my last blog post and remembering when I wrote it, I didn't think the wedding day would ever come. There has been SO much stress from the endless wedding planning as well as the adjustment to graduate school and everything it entails. It was overwhelming.
Though the day did come with the help of all my family and friends, and it was PERFECT.....everything I imagined it to be but so much more beautiful.
I am the happiest woman in the world!
God has truly blessed me with a wonderful Godly man who is by my side through everything....the good and the bad. A Godly man that I trust and love with all of my heart and knowing that he loves and cherishes me even more than any words could express. We have entered into a covenant with the Lord and each other for life....our marriage is God centered, God glorified and a testimony of the 1 Corinthians love.
I love experiencing every moment of everyday with my husband. But I also know there are only better, more glorious, days ahead filled with adventure, tough time, love, and surprises that we will experience together with the Lord as our guide.
I wake up everyday excited, thankful, and more in love with my husband!
It's a beautiful and amazing feeling :)
Here are some of my favorite pictures from the wedding. Thank you to my photographer and friend, Dina Spencer!
This is what matters and is the headline of my life across the university, my family, and my closest friends.
As I was reading my last blog post and remembering when I wrote it, I didn't think the wedding day would ever come. There has been SO much stress from the endless wedding planning as well as the adjustment to graduate school and everything it entails. It was overwhelming.
Though the day did come with the help of all my family and friends, and it was PERFECT.....everything I imagined it to be but so much more beautiful.
I am the happiest woman in the world!
God has truly blessed me with a wonderful Godly man who is by my side through everything....the good and the bad. A Godly man that I trust and love with all of my heart and knowing that he loves and cherishes me even more than any words could express. We have entered into a covenant with the Lord and each other for life....our marriage is God centered, God glorified and a testimony of the 1 Corinthians love.
I love experiencing every moment of everyday with my husband. But I also know there are only better, more glorious, days ahead filled with adventure, tough time, love, and surprises that we will experience together with the Lord as our guide.
I wake up everyday excited, thankful, and more in love with my husband!
It's a beautiful and amazing feeling :)
Here are some of my favorite pictures from the wedding. Thank you to my photographer and friend, Dina Spencer!
 |
| My father walking his baby girl down the aisle.... |
 |
| Everyone who views this picture says it looks like it came out of a catalog! I agree. It's a great shot:) |
 |
| This picture says so much.... most importantly the incredible happiness all over Jonathan's face. I love that Dina caught this moment! Thank you! |
 |
| He makes me the happiest woman! I love his smile :) |
Jun 12, 2010
Movies are not reality.....why do people struggle with this?!
Love is not like it is portrayed in the movies. it is not all honky-dory, picture perfect and happy-go-lucky every single moment. It is rather real, raw, with all of the flaws of its own because both people in the relationship are only human. We are sinners. We are not perfect. Everyone has a different mechanism in which the brain does not think but goes into action whether that may be during arguments, hard situations, or even during the good moments.It is in the moments following that one must not rely on themselves but on God to make the recall, the consequences of the result of the mechanisms actions better. Bring about the peace that was lost during those few quick moments.
This is of greatest importance to me because I see often how some relationships are good at dealing with these moments.....in letting God do the healing, the providing, and the changing in the hearts of the couple so that He may be the leader in the relationship. Others lie in the opposite extreme in which God isn't the leader and chaos is quite often....its hard to deal with thus ultimate peace and love is slowly broken down into many pieces. The ultimate love is lost into a world of confusion, doubt, and darkness.
As an example, I am able with the utmost confidence to say that I am in one of those relationships that lies in the first group I mentioned earlier. I love every moment of it. It may be hard at some points but my heart lies in the confidence that this is what God had planned for me since the day that I was born. No matter what happens I know that God is the leader within my relationship with my fiance and God brings my ultimate fulfillment. It brings my heart the greatest joy in realizing that He finally brought this amazing relationship into my life when I was prepared to handle it with HIS guidance. It fulfills the 1 Corinthians 13 love with the best of the ability any human relationship can....
"Oh, I want you with me every move I make
I want you to see all that I see
Through the laughter and the madness
And every moment in between
Oh, I want you with me"
This is of greatest importance to me because I see often how some relationships are good at dealing with these moments.....in letting God do the healing, the providing, and the changing in the hearts of the couple so that He may be the leader in the relationship. Others lie in the opposite extreme in which God isn't the leader and chaos is quite often....its hard to deal with thus ultimate peace and love is slowly broken down into many pieces. The ultimate love is lost into a world of confusion, doubt, and darkness.
As an example, I am able with the utmost confidence to say that I am in one of those relationships that lies in the first group I mentioned earlier. I love every moment of it. It may be hard at some points but my heart lies in the confidence that this is what God had planned for me since the day that I was born. No matter what happens I know that God is the leader within my relationship with my fiance and God brings my ultimate fulfillment. It brings my heart the greatest joy in realizing that He finally brought this amazing relationship into my life when I was prepared to handle it with HIS guidance. It fulfills the 1 Corinthians 13 love with the best of the ability any human relationship can....
"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends"
- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
I can't wait until I get married to the love of my life! I can't wait until I can experience every moment with my husband with the joy, confidence and pleasure that we can handle anything that life may bring us because our great Lord is the leader of our relationship.
I want you to see all that I see
Through the laughter and the madness
And every moment in between
Oh, I want you with me"
May 19, 2010
Colossians 2:8-10
As I was reading through Colossians 1 and 2, I stopped and dwelled on two verses because it hit home to me. I could sense the Lord tugging at my heart, giving me a gentle reminder that I needed this morning.
Let me tell you about it but first read these two verses:
"See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ. For in him the whole fullness of deity dwells bodily, and you have been filled in him, who is the head of all rule and authority." - Colossians 2:8-10
Bringing all the worries to the Lord brings about peace. A peace that transcends all understanding, a peace that is larger than any fear, worry, or burden. A peace knowing that the Lord has his hand in all situations and He will never let me go, never let me down. This peace is one in which I look for, I pray for everyday, especially on the days where I feel the world is breaking me down piece by piece. It is the only thing that brings me ultimate fulfillment and the strength to keep going.....
Though no one is perfect, including myself, and there are some days where it seems like this peace is no where to be found. It is a struggle to keep my focus thus I am thankful for my God who has placed incredible people in my life for me to talk to. My fiancé told me today that "it is okay to bring your troubles and worries to the Lord because He knows you are trying to deal with the things going on with your epilepsy and sometimes it is hard. There will be times where you can't handle it all and depend only on your strength just keep looking at His blessings in your life. Look at where He has guided you despite your epilepsy because this burden is only for a short time".....That was one thing I desperately needed to hear because there are days where I feel I am disappointing the Lord because I let the worry over take me. But that is not true in this case. I just need that gentle reminder of His work in my life, that it is in the process but I don't always see it until the end when the blessings overflow. Through the process I have to remind myself that He won't dish out more than I can handle.....He understands everything I am going through and He is a constant listening hear. There is nothing wrong for expressing those feelings.....
"....The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4:5-7
Let me tell you about it but first read these two verses:
"See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ. For in him the whole fullness of deity dwells bodily, and you have been filled in him, who is the head of all rule and authority." - Colossians 2:8-10
Bringing all the worries to the Lord brings about peace. A peace that transcends all understanding, a peace that is larger than any fear, worry, or burden. A peace knowing that the Lord has his hand in all situations and He will never let me go, never let me down. This peace is one in which I look for, I pray for everyday, especially on the days where I feel the world is breaking me down piece by piece. It is the only thing that brings me ultimate fulfillment and the strength to keep going.....
Though no one is perfect, including myself, and there are some days where it seems like this peace is no where to be found. It is a struggle to keep my focus thus I am thankful for my God who has placed incredible people in my life for me to talk to. My fiancé told me today that "it is okay to bring your troubles and worries to the Lord because He knows you are trying to deal with the things going on with your epilepsy and sometimes it is hard. There will be times where you can't handle it all and depend only on your strength just keep looking at His blessings in your life. Look at where He has guided you despite your epilepsy because this burden is only for a short time".....That was one thing I desperately needed to hear because there are days where I feel I am disappointing the Lord because I let the worry over take me. But that is not true in this case. I just need that gentle reminder of His work in my life, that it is in the process but I don't always see it until the end when the blessings overflow. Through the process I have to remind myself that He won't dish out more than I can handle.....He understands everything I am going through and He is a constant listening hear. There is nothing wrong for expressing those feelings.....
"....The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4:5-7
May 10, 2010
learning to let go. completely.
Learning to let go.
It's a simple concept but ultimately a difficult one for many people to learn.
Sometimes it is letting go of something simple such as a bad habit, a childhood teddy bear/blanket as a security item, . Other times it is harder like in willing to let go of a friend that is no longer a good influence in your life, a relationship that was painful or one that you didn't want to end because it was good, even a fear/insecurity that takes over you and tears you down emotionally.
It's those times where it is the hardest. No matter what you try to do, no matter how you convince yourself to think and try to put it away, it all comes flooding back at some time or another. It's an endless cycle that leads to nothing good but rather it produces something bad....something that not only affects you but others around you in the present and future. Allowing the cycle to continue and giving up because nothing is changing is not the answer. Change won't come about until you learn to let it ALL go.
Learning to let go is when one obtains peace, joy, calmness and strength.....its the only way to stop the cycle in it's path....never to start up again.
I am writing this because it as been a issue that comes up often and I felt the Lord tugging at my heart to share my thoughts.....Letting go is the one concept that the Lord has given me the strength to do, even when it seems like I can't because it is too painful. It is in that moment I feel the sense of peace overwhelm me, like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I know in that moment I don't want to go back to the place I was before.
I desperately want everyone who is struggling with letting go to experience that same peace. The peace that can only be found in Christ; the peace that can only be found in total surrender, total submission to the Lord.
When I see others who struggle with letting go of something that is tearing them apart it breaks my heart because I understand every moment, every struggle they are experiencing.
Learning to let go is not an easy concept to learn and apply but it is the only answer to obtain peace. A peace that surmounts all things. A peace that can only be found in Christ alone, a total submission and surrender to Christ alone. Trusting that he will transform you into a NEW creation. Dwelling on the past will get you no where....if anything it only leads to destruction and pain.
Dwelling on life's blessings and all that God can do, has done, and will do is the answer. It is in that moment where one learns to let go. completely.
It's a simple concept but ultimately a difficult one for many people to learn.
Sometimes it is letting go of something simple such as a bad habit, a childhood teddy bear/blanket as a security item, . Other times it is harder like in willing to let go of a friend that is no longer a good influence in your life, a relationship that was painful or one that you didn't want to end because it was good, even a fear/insecurity that takes over you and tears you down emotionally.
It's those times where it is the hardest. No matter what you try to do, no matter how you convince yourself to think and try to put it away, it all comes flooding back at some time or another. It's an endless cycle that leads to nothing good but rather it produces something bad....something that not only affects you but others around you in the present and future. Allowing the cycle to continue and giving up because nothing is changing is not the answer. Change won't come about until you learn to let it ALL go.
Learning to let go is when one obtains peace, joy, calmness and strength.....its the only way to stop the cycle in it's path....never to start up again.
I am writing this because it as been a issue that comes up often and I felt the Lord tugging at my heart to share my thoughts.....Letting go is the one concept that the Lord has given me the strength to do, even when it seems like I can't because it is too painful. It is in that moment I feel the sense of peace overwhelm me, like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I know in that moment I don't want to go back to the place I was before.
I desperately want everyone who is struggling with letting go to experience that same peace. The peace that can only be found in Christ; the peace that can only be found in total surrender, total submission to the Lord.
When I see others who struggle with letting go of something that is tearing them apart it breaks my heart because I understand every moment, every struggle they are experiencing.
Learning to let go is not an easy concept to learn and apply but it is the only answer to obtain peace. A peace that surmounts all things. A peace that can only be found in Christ alone, a total submission and surrender to Christ alone. Trusting that he will transform you into a NEW creation. Dwelling on the past will get you no where....if anything it only leads to destruction and pain.
Dwelling on life's blessings and all that God can do, has done, and will do is the answer. It is in that moment where one learns to let go. completely.
May 9, 2010
I'm in awe
"Lost are saved, find their way
At the sound of Your great name
All condemned feel no shame
At the sound of Your great name
Every fear has no place
At the sound of Your great name
The enemy, he has to leave
At the sound of Your great name
All the weak find their strength
At the sound of Your great name
Hungry souls receive grace
At the sound of Your great name
The fatherless find their place
At the sound of Your great name
The sick are healed, the dead are raised
At the sound of Your great name
Redeemer, My Healer, Lord Almighty
Sustainer, Defender, You are my king"
At the sound of Your great name
All condemned feel no shame
At the sound of Your great name
Every fear has no place
At the sound of Your great name
The enemy, he has to leave
At the sound of Your great name
Jesus, worthy is the Lamb
that was slain for us
The Son of God and man
You are high and lifted up
And all the world will praise
Your great name
All the weak find their strength
At the sound of Your great name
Hungry souls receive grace
At the sound of Your great name
The fatherless find their place
At the sound of Your great name
The sick are healed, the dead are raised
At the sound of Your great name
Redeemer, My Healer, Lord Almighty
Sustainer, Defender, You are my king"
Apr 15, 2010
FRUSTRATION doesn't even to begin to explain
I'm tired. simply put. nothing more to elaborate on than I'm tired.
It seems like I'm tired of school and doing all this endless work that keeps piling on at the end of the semester. I'm tired of waiting on the graduate school to make a decision on my future.
But mostly I'm tired of having so many seizures especially when I am trying everything in my power to help control them.
I'm frustrated with myself and with the medications that claim to work to control my seizures.
I'm frustrated that it puts my life on hold for two or more days especially when I have responsibilities.
I just want it to get better and stop taking a tole on my life and the others important to me.
I just keep praying that the Lord is continually working in me through this time in my life.....that in the end, it will be good and these feelings will go away. I pray every night that the Lord will take away my frustration and give me the peace I need when it comes to my epilepsy. He has given me peace in other areas of my life but it seems like everytime I find some peace, there comes another area where I have no peace....
It's an endless cycle of testing my faith. Even through all the frustration, lack of peace, and tiredness I am thankful for this time of testing my faith.....
To get me through the days where it seems that the frustration is strong and I can't seem to find peace I think about Psalms 46:10
" Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations. I will be exalted in the earth."
It seems like I'm tired of school and doing all this endless work that keeps piling on at the end of the semester. I'm tired of waiting on the graduate school to make a decision on my future.
But mostly I'm tired of having so many seizures especially when I am trying everything in my power to help control them.
I'm frustrated with myself and with the medications that claim to work to control my seizures.
I'm frustrated that it puts my life on hold for two or more days especially when I have responsibilities.
I just want it to get better and stop taking a tole on my life and the others important to me.
I just keep praying that the Lord is continually working in me through this time in my life.....that in the end, it will be good and these feelings will go away. I pray every night that the Lord will take away my frustration and give me the peace I need when it comes to my epilepsy. He has given me peace in other areas of my life but it seems like everytime I find some peace, there comes another area where I have no peace....
It's an endless cycle of testing my faith. Even through all the frustration, lack of peace, and tiredness I am thankful for this time of testing my faith.....
To get me through the days where it seems that the frustration is strong and I can't seem to find peace I think about Psalms 46:10
" Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations. I will be exalted in the earth."
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