As I was reading through Colossians 1 and 2, I stopped and dwelled on two verses because it hit home to me. I could sense the Lord tugging at my heart, giving me a gentle reminder that I needed this morning.
Let me tell you about it but first read these two verses:
"See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ. For in him the whole fullness of deity dwells bodily, and you have been filled in him, who is the head of all rule and authority." - Colossians 2:8-10
Bringing all the worries to the Lord brings about peace. A peace that transcends all understanding, a peace that is larger than any fear, worry, or burden. A peace knowing that the Lord has his hand in all situations and He will never let me go, never let me down. This peace is one in which I look for, I pray for everyday, especially on the days where I feel the world is breaking me down piece by piece. It is the only thing that brings me ultimate fulfillment and the strength to keep going.....
Though no one is perfect, including myself, and there are some days where it seems like this peace is no where to be found. It is a struggle to keep my focus thus I am thankful for my God who has placed incredible people in my life for me to talk to. My fiancé told me today that "it is okay to bring your troubles and worries to the Lord because He knows you are trying to deal with the things going on with your epilepsy and sometimes it is hard. There will be times where you can't handle it all and depend only on your strength just keep looking at His blessings in your life. Look at where He has guided you despite your epilepsy because this burden is only for a short time".....That was one thing I desperately needed to hear because there are days where I feel I am disappointing the Lord because I let the worry over take me. But that is not true in this case. I just need that gentle reminder of His work in my life, that it is in the process but I don't always see it until the end when the blessings overflow. Through the process I have to remind myself that He won't dish out more than I can handle.....He understands everything I am going through and He is a constant listening hear. There is nothing wrong for expressing those feelings.....
"....The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4:5-7
May 19, 2010
May 10, 2010
learning to let go. completely.
Learning to let go.
It's a simple concept but ultimately a difficult one for many people to learn.
Sometimes it is letting go of something simple such as a bad habit, a childhood teddy bear/blanket as a security item, . Other times it is harder like in willing to let go of a friend that is no longer a good influence in your life, a relationship that was painful or one that you didn't want to end because it was good, even a fear/insecurity that takes over you and tears you down emotionally.
It's those times where it is the hardest. No matter what you try to do, no matter how you convince yourself to think and try to put it away, it all comes flooding back at some time or another. It's an endless cycle that leads to nothing good but rather it produces something bad....something that not only affects you but others around you in the present and future. Allowing the cycle to continue and giving up because nothing is changing is not the answer. Change won't come about until you learn to let it ALL go.
Learning to let go is when one obtains peace, joy, calmness and strength.....its the only way to stop the cycle in it's path....never to start up again.
I am writing this because it as been a issue that comes up often and I felt the Lord tugging at my heart to share my thoughts.....Letting go is the one concept that the Lord has given me the strength to do, even when it seems like I can't because it is too painful. It is in that moment I feel the sense of peace overwhelm me, like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I know in that moment I don't want to go back to the place I was before.
I desperately want everyone who is struggling with letting go to experience that same peace. The peace that can only be found in Christ; the peace that can only be found in total surrender, total submission to the Lord.
When I see others who struggle with letting go of something that is tearing them apart it breaks my heart because I understand every moment, every struggle they are experiencing.
Learning to let go is not an easy concept to learn and apply but it is the only answer to obtain peace. A peace that surmounts all things. A peace that can only be found in Christ alone, a total submission and surrender to Christ alone. Trusting that he will transform you into a NEW creation. Dwelling on the past will get you no where....if anything it only leads to destruction and pain.
Dwelling on life's blessings and all that God can do, has done, and will do is the answer. It is in that moment where one learns to let go. completely.
It's a simple concept but ultimately a difficult one for many people to learn.
Sometimes it is letting go of something simple such as a bad habit, a childhood teddy bear/blanket as a security item, . Other times it is harder like in willing to let go of a friend that is no longer a good influence in your life, a relationship that was painful or one that you didn't want to end because it was good, even a fear/insecurity that takes over you and tears you down emotionally.
It's those times where it is the hardest. No matter what you try to do, no matter how you convince yourself to think and try to put it away, it all comes flooding back at some time or another. It's an endless cycle that leads to nothing good but rather it produces something bad....something that not only affects you but others around you in the present and future. Allowing the cycle to continue and giving up because nothing is changing is not the answer. Change won't come about until you learn to let it ALL go.
Learning to let go is when one obtains peace, joy, calmness and strength.....its the only way to stop the cycle in it's path....never to start up again.
I am writing this because it as been a issue that comes up often and I felt the Lord tugging at my heart to share my thoughts.....Letting go is the one concept that the Lord has given me the strength to do, even when it seems like I can't because it is too painful. It is in that moment I feel the sense of peace overwhelm me, like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I know in that moment I don't want to go back to the place I was before.
I desperately want everyone who is struggling with letting go to experience that same peace. The peace that can only be found in Christ; the peace that can only be found in total surrender, total submission to the Lord.
When I see others who struggle with letting go of something that is tearing them apart it breaks my heart because I understand every moment, every struggle they are experiencing.
Learning to let go is not an easy concept to learn and apply but it is the only answer to obtain peace. A peace that surmounts all things. A peace that can only be found in Christ alone, a total submission and surrender to Christ alone. Trusting that he will transform you into a NEW creation. Dwelling on the past will get you no where....if anything it only leads to destruction and pain.
Dwelling on life's blessings and all that God can do, has done, and will do is the answer. It is in that moment where one learns to let go. completely.
May 9, 2010
I'm in awe
"Lost are saved, find their way
At the sound of Your great name
All condemned feel no shame
At the sound of Your great name
Every fear has no place
At the sound of Your great name
The enemy, he has to leave
At the sound of Your great name
All the weak find their strength
At the sound of Your great name
Hungry souls receive grace
At the sound of Your great name
The fatherless find their place
At the sound of Your great name
The sick are healed, the dead are raised
At the sound of Your great name
Redeemer, My Healer, Lord Almighty
Sustainer, Defender, You are my king"
At the sound of Your great name
All condemned feel no shame
At the sound of Your great name
Every fear has no place
At the sound of Your great name
The enemy, he has to leave
At the sound of Your great name
Jesus, worthy is the Lamb
that was slain for us
The Son of God and man
You are high and lifted up
And all the world will praise
Your great name
All the weak find their strength
At the sound of Your great name
Hungry souls receive grace
At the sound of Your great name
The fatherless find their place
At the sound of Your great name
The sick are healed, the dead are raised
At the sound of Your great name
Redeemer, My Healer, Lord Almighty
Sustainer, Defender, You are my king"
Apr 15, 2010
FRUSTRATION doesn't even to begin to explain
I'm tired. simply put. nothing more to elaborate on than I'm tired.
It seems like I'm tired of school and doing all this endless work that keeps piling on at the end of the semester. I'm tired of waiting on the graduate school to make a decision on my future.
But mostly I'm tired of having so many seizures especially when I am trying everything in my power to help control them.
I'm frustrated with myself and with the medications that claim to work to control my seizures.
I'm frustrated that it puts my life on hold for two or more days especially when I have responsibilities.
I just want it to get better and stop taking a tole on my life and the others important to me.
I just keep praying that the Lord is continually working in me through this time in my life.....that in the end, it will be good and these feelings will go away. I pray every night that the Lord will take away my frustration and give me the peace I need when it comes to my epilepsy. He has given me peace in other areas of my life but it seems like everytime I find some peace, there comes another area where I have no peace....
It's an endless cycle of testing my faith. Even through all the frustration, lack of peace, and tiredness I am thankful for this time of testing my faith.....
To get me through the days where it seems that the frustration is strong and I can't seem to find peace I think about Psalms 46:10
" Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations. I will be exalted in the earth."
It seems like I'm tired of school and doing all this endless work that keeps piling on at the end of the semester. I'm tired of waiting on the graduate school to make a decision on my future.
But mostly I'm tired of having so many seizures especially when I am trying everything in my power to help control them.
I'm frustrated with myself and with the medications that claim to work to control my seizures.
I'm frustrated that it puts my life on hold for two or more days especially when I have responsibilities.
I just want it to get better and stop taking a tole on my life and the others important to me.
I just keep praying that the Lord is continually working in me through this time in my life.....that in the end, it will be good and these feelings will go away. I pray every night that the Lord will take away my frustration and give me the peace I need when it comes to my epilepsy. He has given me peace in other areas of my life but it seems like everytime I find some peace, there comes another area where I have no peace....
It's an endless cycle of testing my faith. Even through all the frustration, lack of peace, and tiredness I am thankful for this time of testing my faith.....
To get me through the days where it seems that the frustration is strong and I can't seem to find peace I think about Psalms 46:10
" Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations. I will be exalted in the earth."
Feb 7, 2010
waiting
“For I the Lord do not change..." (Malachi 3:6)
My life is just the opposite of this verse: it seems to be changing as each new day comes and goes, especially recently.
When I read this, it was like a ray of light peering through the darkness reminding me that God doesn't change....
His plan always comes about but He is patient in a Godly way....it's a part of God's covenant love for me.
For some reason though I only see a dim light.
I want it to be brighter than the sun.
I've surrendered all my fears and worries to the Lord.
I've been praying for peace to calm my restless heart and mind.
But I'm still waiting....
waiting everyday....
waiting anxiously....
waiting for direction.
I'm still waiting for God's peace to overwhelm me and take away all this worry.
I'm waiting for that ray of light to shine brighter than the sun in the midst of this confusing darkness.
I'm patiently waiting on the Lord.
My life is just the opposite of this verse: it seems to be changing as each new day comes and goes, especially recently.
When I read this, it was like a ray of light peering through the darkness reminding me that God doesn't change....
His plan always comes about but He is patient in a Godly way....it's a part of God's covenant love for me.
For some reason though I only see a dim light.
I want it to be brighter than the sun.
I've surrendered all my fears and worries to the Lord.
I've been praying for peace to calm my restless heart and mind.
But I'm still waiting....
waiting everyday....
waiting anxiously....
waiting for direction.
I'm still waiting for God's peace to overwhelm me and take away all this worry.
I'm waiting for that ray of light to shine brighter than the sun in the midst of this confusing darkness.
I'm patiently waiting on the Lord.
Jan 20, 2010
Magnificent Beauty
I don't know what it is about the morning but has always been my favorite time of the whole day. I absolutely love it. Especially those cool, soft, quiet mornings where everything is silent except the sounds of the rustling trees blowing in the wind.
The sky is light blue with a slight tint of purple reflective in the clouds.....looking beyond into the horizon one can start to see the reds, oranges and yellows of the morning sun rising in the sky. The moon and the sun are together in the sky and only a little bit of light illuminates the sky so that one can see.
It's beyond magnificent. Amazing. Impressive beauty. Simply glorious.
I wish time could stand still at that moment.
It is in this time where I feel closest to God. In a way of trying and wanting to understand His magnificent power in creating this beauty that we call Earth. Although being a science-oriented person and learning all the different ways to prove or disprove something, my mind always returns to one key question.
How can people learn everything about science, all the magnificent wonders that we are still studying because we can't explain them, and still say there is no God?
When I think about that, my heart breaks....
But it does not only refer to the ones who completely deny God, it also refers to the believers who sometimes forget to exeperience God's beauty. It seems like everyday is monotonous, too busy or some excuse is given and we don't stop to simply breathe. We don't stop to take in the world around us but rather overlook it and pass it off as nothing important. God's creation reveals his power and beauty to us. It's a simple yet complex thing that is easy for any person to understand and accept.
As John Piper says, "God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him." .....reflecting upon the beauty that surrounds me everyday, especially in the morning, satisfies me. My heart is glad and it is my time to give God all the glory and praise.
When is your time of the day in which you stand in awe of God's beauty and give Him all the glory and praise?
The sky is light blue with a slight tint of purple reflective in the clouds.....looking beyond into the horizon one can start to see the reds, oranges and yellows of the morning sun rising in the sky. The moon and the sun are together in the sky and only a little bit of light illuminates the sky so that one can see.
It's beyond magnificent. Amazing. Impressive beauty. Simply glorious.
I wish time could stand still at that moment.
It is in this time where I feel closest to God. In a way of trying and wanting to understand His magnificent power in creating this beauty that we call Earth. Although being a science-oriented person and learning all the different ways to prove or disprove something, my mind always returns to one key question.
How can people learn everything about science, all the magnificent wonders that we are still studying because we can't explain them, and still say there is no God?
When I think about that, my heart breaks....
But it does not only refer to the ones who completely deny God, it also refers to the believers who sometimes forget to exeperience God's beauty. It seems like everyday is monotonous, too busy or some excuse is given and we don't stop to simply breathe. We don't stop to take in the world around us but rather overlook it and pass it off as nothing important. God's creation reveals his power and beauty to us. It's a simple yet complex thing that is easy for any person to understand and accept.
As John Piper says, "God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him." .....reflecting upon the beauty that surrounds me everyday, especially in the morning, satisfies me. My heart is glad and it is my time to give God all the glory and praise.
When is your time of the day in which you stand in awe of God's beauty and give Him all the glory and praise?
Jan 17, 2010
I'm coming back to the heart of worship
This morning I felt the Lord tugging at my heart when I heard Will mention this quote. It was in the context of the Malachi study he has been talking about, focusing on responding to God's covenant love in our lives....I really felt I needed to share this because it can be a sweet reminder for everyone.
"I am far more sinful than I ever dared to believe but I am far more accepted than I ever hoped for."
To me this quote symbolized a new beginning for me this year.....to start fresh and regain my daily walk with the Lord. Ever more now as my last semester of college starts and new opportunites/situations come my way I need the Lord's peace and strength to envelope me. I want and I need the constant reassurance that no matter what happens it is in God's plan for my life; no worries, just resting in peace and the joy of living every moment as a blessing from God.
This quote specifically hit home for me in that I want to set a time in my schedule for the Lord.....just as I have a time in my schedule for classes, studying and working out. Just because I am busy doesn't mean I am too busy to spend time with the only constant greatness of God. God isn't too busy for me, why do I say I am too busy for him?
Well, that is going to change.
"I am far more sinful than I ever dared to believe but I am far more accepted than I ever hoped for."
To me this quote symbolized a new beginning for me this year.....to start fresh and regain my daily walk with the Lord. Ever more now as my last semester of college starts and new opportunites/situations come my way I need the Lord's peace and strength to envelope me. I want and I need the constant reassurance that no matter what happens it is in God's plan for my life; no worries, just resting in peace and the joy of living every moment as a blessing from God.
This quote specifically hit home for me in that I want to set a time in my schedule for the Lord.....just as I have a time in my schedule for classes, studying and working out. Just because I am busy doesn't mean I am too busy to spend time with the only constant greatness of God. God isn't too busy for me, why do I say I am too busy for him?
Well, that is going to change.
With the words of my heart crying out,
I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You
And it's all about You
All about You, Jesus
I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it
When it's all about You
It's all about You Jesus
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