Psalms 73:25-26

I know it has been a LONG time since I posted, I get reminded quite often by my family. Cathy, Mark, this post is for you. :)

By the end of the year, last year, life was getting the best of me; at least that was what it felt like. Normal stresses of getting the semester wrapped up, grades finished and turned in and trying to get my research proposal together.
On top of all that I had the greater stress emerging...
My seizures were becoming more frequent. Occurring every week.  

I have been changing medications for the past few months and they have not been doing their job. I'm still having seizures every week. I've asked all the doctors I know and none of them have a good explanation for what is going on.
All I hear lately is "I don't know, maybe this.....but I am not sure really."
No one seems to know the answers anymore and I am simply getting tired of trying to analyze it.

I don't know what to do. I just know that, once again, I feel like a lab rat being put through all the tests and various medications. Although, I have been taking it harder than I have before and these past few months felt like someone just hit me in the face with a wooden bat. It hurts, physically and emotionally.
Some days, I am fine while many of days are just too overwhelming with all the worrying, all the side effects of the medications and not knowing what is going on with my epilepsy.
The best I can do on those days is go home and break down to my sweet husband who reminds me that "God's hand is in all that is happening and we just have to keep our trust in HIM during this tough time. We will get through it, just stay strong and keep going. Don't give up."

Psalms 73: 25-26

Whom have I in heaven but you?
   And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.

My flesh and my heart may fail,
   but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

I recite this verse to myself daily to remind me that God will always be my source of strength that I need, to get through anything that happens, even when it seems like I have none. So it will be a rough, hard and tiring road but I am not giving up.